


(not) getting married today

by moondustglittr



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Overthinking, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Stress Baking, Taako is Bad at Feelings (The Adventure Zone), Weddings, brief description of panic attack?, i guess??, i love that this is a tag, kitchen as the best place to have emotions in, like really brief, this is mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondustglittr/pseuds/moondustglittr
Summary: Taako and Kravitz get married but not exactly the way they planned it.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	(not) getting married today

It was 2 in the morning, two days before Taako’s wedding, and he was baking his third cake in a row.

It’s not that he was stressed. He was  _ The  _ Taako from TV, an interplanar celebrity and a hero, he was beyond such plebeian emotions as stress or overthinking or anxiety; he was as good and fine as he could be. He just had a lot on his head - which, since he was planning the biggest wedding Faerun had ever seen, was completely natural and understandable - and needed something to take his mind out of it.

Usually, it was easy for Taako to lose himself in his cooking, to focus only on the repetitive movements of recreating the recipe, turning his brain off, and letting his hands do all the work. The way he knew all the steps - the familiarity of it, how nothing could really surprise him - was calming and grounding like nothing else really was. Sometimes, when everything was slipping between his fingers, his kitchen was the only place where he was truly in control.

There was also a blissful quiet to the kitchen during the night. Before… everything, Taako liked to be alone, even after he was forced to learn that maybe other people aren’t that bad. Now? Not really. He still liked his space, but sometimes being alone for a little too long made his chest tighten, unease creeping up his neck. Nonetheless, being the only person in his kitchen in the middle of the night was weirdly comforting. Everything here was familiar, unmistakably  _ his _ , bathed in a soft, honeyed light, the scent of dried herbs and spices lingering in the air. The knowledge that his family was sleeping soundly in their rooms, that if he chose, he could go back to his bedroom, crawling into his bed, right into his fiancée’s arms, was resting comfortably at the back of his mind. It was controlled loneliness. He liked to get lost in it from time to time, pretending everything was normal, but he was aware that he could end it at any moment.

Today none of the things that usually brought him comfort were doing their job. He felt jittery and restless, and it was impossible to turn his brain off. His thoughts were acting like a stubborn dog, wandering where it shouldn’t have, no matter how much did you yell at it and how hard you were yanking its leash.

All he could think about was the damn wedding.

He and Kravitz told themselves that they wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. It was supposed to be just a small ceremony for their family, nothing  _ too  _ fancy. But then the hell that was wedding planning got to their heads. If Taako were to blame anyone for it, it would be Lup. She was the one who brought him the wedding magazines - at first only for shits and giggles, but soon Taako had realized that with all the money he now had, he could certainly incorporate some ideas from them into his own ceremony. Because why not? Now that he was rich and famous, he could do everything he wanted, every stupid luxurious thing basically at his fingertips, and honestly? His life had been hell, he deserved to have some nice things.

Well, most people wouldn’t consider throwing a lavish wedding self-care, but most people weren’t Taako and didn’t have his money and imagination.

But then it turned out that in reality, planning a big and fancy wedding ceremony was  _ incredibly  _ tiring. Like, being-dragged-through-hell-and-back level of tiring. Dying-several-times level of tiring. Being-forced-to-work-after-three-sleepless-nights level of tiring. In other words - Taako was  _ very  _ done and  _ really  _ wanted a nap.

He wanted everything to be perfect, for himself, yes, but mostly, he wanted it for Kravitz. The poor dude stuck with his annoying, filled to the brim with all sorts of problems ass, he deserved to get at least a nice wedding out of this relationship.

But because the universe apparently hated Taako, nothing was going as perfect as he wished. During their planning, they encountered all sorts of problems, hiccups, and delays. None of it was actually catastrophic and most of the people would brush it off as some minor annoyance, but for Taako they were ugly wine stains on the snow-white fabric of his plan. 

Gods, he wanted to tear his hair off. The big day was so close and there was still so much to be done - most of the cooking, the flowers, trying to arrange who will sit next to whom, and there were also some problems with the music act and- It all felt like trying to balance a big stack of porcelain tableware in his arms and losing.

Just thinking about it made him anxious, his hands shaking only so slightly as he tried to crack the egg. It slipped between his fingers, landing on the floor instead of the flour.

“Fuck.” It was more of a tired sigh than an expression of anger.

The yolk was splashed all over the tiles, with what was left of the shell drifting in it like castaway drifting on the sea. Looking at the sad sight, Taako felt some sort of connection with it. It was, as the kids say, a mood.

Okay, relating to an egg was definitely a bad sign. Maybe he needed to go back to sleep.

He cleaned up the mess as quickly as he could, muttering under his breath a string of curse words. Then, he took a deep breath and grabbed another egg, quickly cracking it into the bowl, this time without any incident. Okay, great. So maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was just a one-time thing.

Because after all, there was nothing to be that worried about, right? Sure, some things weren’t going as well as he planned, but overall, most of them were.

But then there was always the whole “lifelong commitment” thing. Because that was what marriage was, right? Choosing to commit to one person till Death do you ‘part except in this case his soon-to-be husband  _ was  _ Death, so who knows how that will work in their case. And it wasn’t terrifying  _ at all _ .

Or at least, it shouldn’t be. After all, it won’t change anything, not really. Their lives would look exactly as they looked before, except that now he will be legally allowed to call Kravitz his husband, and they would both wear fancy-ass golden rings to show off that they are, in fact, married. In the grand scheme of things, it was a small change. He remembers how it was when Lup and Barry first got married. Nothing changed except the fact that they became even more insufferable, addressing each other only by “my dear husband” and “my dear wife” and shoving their wedding rings in everyone’s faces; Lup got into a habit of dramatically pushing her hair off her shoulder, using only her ringed hand. Taako always acted like it was incredibly annoying but in reality, he looked it with fondness, feeling happy for his sister and Barold. Not that he would ever admit to it, of course.

But he and Kravitz weren’t Lup and Barry. Those two idiots were crazy for each other - what they had was incomparable to anything else, not to mention that out of the two of them, Lup was the likable one, the good twin. It was impossible not to love, or at least like, her so there was no doubt Barry was mad in love with her and that it would never change.

But Taako? Taako was fucked up. He was an asshole and insufferable, and had all sorts of problems. He wouldn’t be surprised if one day Kravitz decided that he’s done with it and fucked off back to his Death Kingdom or whatever. Actually, he was surprised that he didn’t do that yet.

And yes, maybe Kravitz was the one to actually propose, but that didn’t mean anything. He could still change his mind, realize that this was all a mistake, that he didn’t actually want to tie himself to Taako.

The elf put the bowl on the tabletop with way too much force. Actually, everything he did, he did with way too much force, the clatter of cooking utensils hitting against each other carrying over the whole kitchen. The noise was too loud for Taako - each sound felt like someone hammering needles directly into his brain. It was confusing and too much, filling his head with buzzing haze, and suddenly there was that tightness in his chest again and each breath felt like a fight and…

“Babe? Is everything alright?”

Kravitz’s voice cut through the haze like a knife. Suddenly, Taako was aware that he was standing in the middle of his kitchen, gripping the tabletop like his life depended on it, his knuckles white, chest rising and falling at an alarming rate, ears pressed close to the head. Slowly, he forced himself to take a long, deep breath, focusing all of his attention on his nails - the purple nail polish twinkled in the light of the lamp. He felt dizzy. His head wasn’t only spinning; it felt like a goddamn fan left out on a storm.

He wanted to crack a joke, something in his usual style, but instead what came out of his mouth was:

“I… don’t want to get married.” His voice was shakier than he would’ve liked. He was still looking only at his nails, not wanting to see whatever look was painted on his still-but-probably-not-for-long-fiancee.

“Taako, dear...:”

Taako could hear Kravitz coming closer to him, but he still wasn’t looking at him, his attention focused on trying to even out his breath. It was still a little more shallow than it should be and his heart was still pounding in his chest, but it was a little better.

Kravitz took Taako’s hands into his, gently loosening his fists and intertwining their fingers.

“Want to tell me why? Because I won’t insist on it, but I would like to get at least some explanation.” 

Taako let out a sigh. It was a fair question but what the fuck was he supposed to say?

“Fuck if I know.” He shrugged. He didn’t even need to look at Kravitz to know the look his fiancée was giving him, the raised eyebrow and the mix of disbelief and amusement. “Okay, for starters? We still don’t have any music people ‘cause the last ones decided to bail out. And since we had to change the flowers, they don’t match the table cloth which like? Hate that. And uh, I’m not  _ super  _ on board with letting a bunch of randos making food for  _ my  _ wedding, but it’s not like I have time to do it myself. Oh, and also…”

Whatever Taako wanted to say was cut off by Kravitz’s laughter. It wasn’t mocking in any way. If anything, it was full of fondness.

Suddenly, Taako was wrapped in a warm, comforting hug. He let himself relax into the touch, leaning his forehead on Kravitz’s chest - he could hear his heart beating steadily.

“I’m also not sure if you even want to get married,” Taako muttered into the soft fabric of Kravitz’s shirt. When he said it out loud, it fully hit him how stupid it sounded - he couldn’t even blame Kravitz for laughing again.

“Okay, we can set one thing clear… I do. Fully and truly. Actually, there’s nothing I want more! I can’t wait for the day I will be able to call you my husband.”

“Wow, that’s sappy even for you,” replied Taako, but without any heat. He could feel something warm and fluffy blossoming in his chest.

“Oh, I haven’t even  _ started  _ being sappy. This? This is nothing. You don’t know the full extent of my powers, Taako.”

Taako laughed. Gods, did he love this man and all his stupid, sappy monologues.

“As for the flowers and such… I feel like you might have some micromanagement problems, my dear. You might want to bring it up to your therapist next week. But also, may I be honest with you? Fuck that. Fuck the flowers and music and even the food. I don’t care.”

Taako looked up at Kravitz with surprise.

“I just want to be your husband. Who cares about anything else?”

Taako wanted to laugh. Or cry. Or both at the same time. Preferably both. Suddenly, he felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders though he wasn’t even sure why. Somehow, Kravitz’s words were enough to comfort him. And… he was right.

“I mean… I also want to be your husband, but it would be nice to eat a good cake while we’re at it.”

Kravitz placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“You can bake us cake afterward,” he whispered into Taako’s hair. “The ones at the wedding will be for the guests. They can get shitty ones.”

Yep. Taako was definitely madly in love with this man and wanted to listen to his stupid jokes till the end of times.

“Actually… Since we both established that we do, in fact, want to get married, I have an idea. Wait for me, would you?” And with that, Kravitz was gone, leaving Taako cold and confused.

Thankfully, he came right back, holding something in his hand. He was smiling brightly, his eyes shining like stars.

“So, uh, wanna let me in on that plan of yours?” Taako asked, crossing his arms.

“Well…” Whatever Kravitz had in mind, he was incredibly excited by it. “Do you want to get married now? Right there? Just the two of us? Because since both of us want it so bad, why wait? And we can treat our actual wedding like a fancy party then.”

For a moment, Taako was left speechless. And then he just burst out laughing.

“God, Krav…” he choked out, trying to regain his composure. “Fuck, this is great. Love this. Let’s do it.”

“Okay, let’s do this then.”

Kravitz handed Taako one of their wedding rings, looking him in the eyes. Taako could feel the excitement buzzing through his body like electricity. It should be a calm, serious moment, but he couldn’t stop grinning. It was all a little absurd but somehow just the two of them standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, their only companion the dough Taako haven’t put in the oven, was better than any fancy party he could have planned. Though, considering the rest of their relationship, the unusual circumstances were perfectly fitting for them.

“Taako…” Kravitz took the elf’s face in his hands, brushing his cheek with his thumb. It was the gentles of touches but somehow still managed to make Taako’s breath hitch. The feeling from earlier, the soft warmth in his chest, was back now, only this time stronger, washing over his whole body. He wanted to bathe in it forever. “There’s so much I could tell you right now. I could find the most beautiful words, write you poems and songs because that’s what you deserve and maybe one day I will, but I feel like now it’s the time for something simpler… You opened doors to a whole new life for me, you made my heartbeat again. You’re the most incredible person I ever met, smart and funny and brilliant, and so full of surprises. I love you, Taako, and I want to be with you for as long as you will have me.”

When he talked, his voice was low and soft. His eyes were fixed on Taako’s face, looking at him like he was the most important thing in his life. And when he finished talking, he took Taako’s hand, slipping the wedding ring on his finger, his touch lingering for a few more moments that it was strictly necessary, but it was okay. They could take their time. There was no rush.

Taako sniffled. Yes, he was currently in the middle of getting married and that was probably the most romantic thing he ever heard, but he still had a reputation to uphold so no, he definitely wasn’t crying.

“Well. Fuck. I’m not some wordsmith like you, so it probably won’t be as good, but I’ll try… or whatever. So, uh… You know, for a time I didn’t think I was even, ya know, capable of feeling something like this. But then you came in, and you were so good to me and… It was fucking terrifying, okay? And… and you’re still so good, and I have no idea why do you even stick with me, but I’m glad that you do. And well, you just said that you plan on putting up with me as long as I want it and since I don’t plan on ever letting you go… I guess you’re stuck with me now? Like, forever? And you can’t back away now, no matter what.”

When Taako was slipping the wedding ring on Kravitz’s finger, he could feel his own hands shaking but now for an entirely different reason than before.

“So, uh, I guess we’re done?” he said, looking up at Kravitz and smiling.

“Oh, no. We need to seal the deal first.”

Kravitz took Taako’s face in his hands again and kissed him, long and sweet, like if it was going to be their last kiss, and he wanted to make sure he’ll remember it right. It left Taako breathless and a little dumbstruck.

“  _ Now  _ we’re done,” said Kravitz, wrapping Taako in a hug and pressing his forehead to his now-husband’s. God, Taako felt so warm and safe and just plain… happy, that he could fall asleep right away. “So… how do you feel, my dear? Or, should I say, my husband?”

Oh. Okay. Wow. Hearing that definitely did  _ things  _ to Taako’s feelings. He will definitely need some time to get used to it. Suddenly, he could understand Lup and Barry a lot more.

“Fucking fantastic. Best wedding I’ve ever had. It’s also the first wedding I’ve ever had so ya know, the bar was pretty low.”

Kravitz laughed.

“Do… do you want to tell the others?”

“Nah. I want to see my sister freaking out when she figures it out herself.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed!! if you did, consider leaving kudos or a comment, it would mean the world to me <3  
> if you want, you can catch me on tumbr at @moondustglittr
> 
> edit 23.02.21; fixed some minor grammar errors


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